Parent Cue February/March

I have been lax in updating the Parent Cue portion of the Blog (or any portion for that matter)  Hopefully this will get you up to speed. 

Two weeks ago we asked the question, “If pastors can’t even agree about the Bible, how is a teenager supposed to get anything useful out of it?”

Since so many leaders have different opinions on some pretty big issues, it isn’t enough to believe something just because someone told us we should, we need to know why we believe it. 

What we need is some way of taking the thousands of verses in the Bible and transforming them from words on a page into passionate personal beliefs.

Thankfully this is not a new problem in 2013.  2000ish years ago people were wrestling with the same issue.  Since Jesus left, different of His faithful followers had different ideas on how Christians were supposed to live.  Paul gave some advice in his letter to the church in Rome, that we’ve been unpacking for the last few weeks

Some ideas from Romans 14:

·         I should live like I belong to God.  That means that I care what He thinks about everything I do. (that requires that I find out what He thinks, by using my Bible)
·         I should not do anything that will make it easier for someone else to sin.  We all have the power to influence.  How am I using it?
·         If I am not sure what God thinks about it, I shouldn’t do it (But I should find out, using my Bible).
·         If I feel the need to be sneaky about it, I shouldn’t do it.

We also get some help from 1^st Corinthians:

·         God decides right and wrong, not my feelings.  Just because I don’t feel guilty about something doesn’t mean it is right.
·         Everything is allowed, but not everything is helpful.
·         Everything is allowed, but I will not become addicted to anything.

So when a decision comes up we can now run it through this filter. When we open the Bible we can look for how it reveals God's character, rather than just looking for rules.

But how does this apply to the behavior of others?  1 Corinthians and our passage in Romans 14 have some tips for us here as well.

1.       Let non-Christians off the hook.  Don’t expect people who aren’t Christians to act like Christians. 

a.       We (Christians) have given ourselves a really bad name, for being “anti-sinner”.  That’s odd because Christ was known as a “friend of sinners”.

b.      Instead, know why you personally choose to refrain from a certain activity or behavior (or why you choose to participate) and feel free to explain how happy you are with your decision. (avoid telling them that what they are doing is dumb or just wrong…)

2.       When it comes to other Christians, leave room for disagreement. Remember for 2000 years people who have devoted their lives to the study of the Bible haven’t been able to agree on a list of behaviors we should and shouldn’t do, or even a list of facts about God.  Here are a few ideas to help you navigate such disagreements. 

a.       There are certain lines you don’t cross.  There are behaviors that all Christians should be able to agree are wrong.  It is a short list, so get to know it well: Sex outside of marriage, Greed, worshiping anything other than God, abuse, drunkenness, and stealing/cheating. (1 Corinthians 5:11) If anyone tries to tell you that God is cool with one of these behaviors, they are lying to you.  The Bible is clear, if someone claims to be a Christian but are doing one (or more) of these, don’t have anything to do with them until they stop. Period. (remember these are the standards for Christians, if they aren’t claiming to be a Christian, then don’t hold them to Christian standards.)

b.      Something not on that short list might be a sin for you, and not be a sin for someone else.  A certain behavior might be perfectly okay for you, but it could be a sin for them.  We are all unique in our strengths and weaknesses, unique it what could easily distract  us from living like we belong to God. 

c.       When you have a disagreement over whether something is a sin, ask yourself, does the other person live like they belong to God, and do they have biblical reasons for what they believe?  Are they the kind of person who generally loves and serves others? (are you?) If so you can probably agree to disagree.

d.      Instead of lecturing, have conversations about where you disagree.  Remember Knowledge puffs up but love builds up.  It could be that you have something to learn or that you have something to teach, but it doesn’t matter which if you don’t have love.

e.      If they are sinning against you, there’s a proper way to deal with it.  You can read about it in Matthew 18. 

f.        If they are just doing something you’ve chosen not to do… Judge, but don’t condemn.  This is an important difference.  We need to be think through our actions, and our motives.  We don’t have to accept everyone else’s ideas.  We should have deep convictions. This is judgment.  But whether or not the other person is really a Christian, is up to God, not up to me.  I can't condemn someone, and it isn't my place to punish them for disagreeing with me.

That’s a lot of information.  So let me sum it up.

·         There are standards God has set.  But it’s a pretty short list.  Get to know it.

·         Don’t hold not-yet-Christians to Christian Standards

·         Know what you believe and why.

·         Make every decision like God cares deeply about what you are going to do.

 

Over the next few weeks we  will try to apply these ideas to some real life scenarios, so that we can practice.  If you have any scenarios you'd like to suggest, I'd love to hear from you!