I have been lax in updating the Parent Cue portion of the Blog (or any portion for that matter) Hopefully this will get you up to speed.
Two weeks ago we asked the question, “If pastors can’t even
agree about the Bible, how is a teenager supposed to get anything useful out of
it?”
Since so many leaders have different opinions on some pretty
big issues, it isn’t enough to believe something just because someone told us
we should, we need to know why we believe it.
What we need is some way of taking the thousands of verses
in the Bible and transforming them from words on a page into passionate
personal beliefs.
Thankfully this is not a new problem in 2013. 2000ish years ago people were wrestling with
the same issue. Since Jesus left,
different of His faithful followers had different ideas on how Christians were
supposed to live. Paul gave some advice in
his letter to the church in Rome, that we’ve been unpacking for the last few
weeks
Some ideas from Romans 14:
·
I should live like I belong to God. That means that I care what He thinks about everything
I do. (that requires that I find out what He thinks, by using my Bible)
·
I should not do anything that will make it
easier for someone else to sin. We all
have the power to influence. How am I
using it?
·
If I am not sure what God thinks about it, I
shouldn’t do it (But I should find out, using my Bible).
·
If I feel the need to be sneaky about it, I
shouldn’t do it.
We also get some help from 1st Corinthians:
·
God decides right and wrong, not my feelings. Just because I don’t feel guilty about something
doesn’t mean it is right.
·
Everything is allowed, but not everything is
helpful.
·
Everything is allowed, but I will not become addicted to anything.
So when a decision comes up we can now run it through this filter. When we open the Bible we can look for how it reveals God's character, rather than just looking for rules.
But how does this apply to the behavior of others? 1 Corinthians and our passage in Romans 14
have some tips for us here as well.
1. Let
non-Christians off the hook. Don’t
expect people who aren’t Christians to act like Christians.
a. We
(Christians) have given ourselves a really bad name, for being “anti-sinner”. That’s odd because Christ was known as a “friend
of sinners”.
b. Instead,
know why you personally choose to refrain from a certain activity or behavior
(or why you choose to participate) and feel free to explain how happy you are
with your decision. (avoid telling them that what they are doing is dumb or
just wrong…)
2. When it comes to other Christians, leave
room for disagreement. Remember for 2000 years people who have devoted their
lives to the study of the Bible haven’t been able to agree on a list of
behaviors we should and shouldn’t do, or even a list of facts about God. Here are a few ideas to help you navigate such disagreements.
a. There
are certain lines you don’t cross. There
are behaviors that all Christians should be able to agree are wrong. It is a short list, so get to know it well: Sex outside
of marriage, Greed, worshiping anything other than God, abuse, drunkenness, and
stealing/cheating. (1 Corinthians 5:11) If anyone tries to
tell you that God is cool with one of these behaviors, they are lying to you.
The Bible is clear, if someone claims to be a Christian but are doing one
(or more) of these, don’t have anything to do with them until they stop. Period. (remember these are the standards
for Christians, if they aren’t claiming to be a Christian, then don’t hold them
to Christian standards.)
b. Something not on that short list might be a sin for you,
and not be a sin for someone else. A certain behavior might be perfectly okay for you, but it could be a sin
for them. We are all unique in our strengths and weaknesses, unique it what could easily distract us from living like we belong to God.
c. When you have a disagreement over whether something is a sin, ask yourself, does
the other person live like they belong to God, and do they have biblical
reasons for what they believe? Are they
the kind of person who generally loves and serves others? (are you?)
If so you can probably agree to disagree.
d. Instead
of lecturing, have conversations about where you disagree. Remember Knowledge puffs up but love builds
up. It could be that you have something
to learn or that you have something to teach, but it doesn’t matter which if
you don’t have love.
e. If
they are sinning against you, there’s a proper way to deal with it. You can read about it in Matthew 18.
f.
If they are just doing something you’ve chosen not to do… Judge, but don’t condemn. This is an important difference. We need to be think through our actions, and
our motives. We don’t have to accept
everyone else’s ideas. We should have
deep convictions. This is judgment. But whether or not the
other person is really a Christian, is up to God, not up to me. I can't condemn someone, and it isn't my place to punish them for disagreeing with me.
That’s a lot of information.
So let me sum it up.
·
There are standards God has set. But it’s a pretty short list. Get to know it.
·
Don’t hold not-yet-Christians to Christian
Standards
·
Know what you believe and why.
·
Make every decision like God cares deeply about
what you are going to do.
Over the next few weeks we will try to apply these ideas to some real life scenarios, so that we can practice. If you have any scenarios you'd like to suggest, I'd love to hear from you!
